the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
