Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
