Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize