Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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