They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
