Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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