really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
