Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize