New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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