I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
