I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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