But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
