i was born a porn star she said
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
