i would punch a child for taco bell
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
