Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
