Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
