Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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