Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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