when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
