is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
