idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
