You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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