How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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