WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
