I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
A+ Viking dick
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
