Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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