Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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