I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
