In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
