it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
