she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
