two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
