So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
