On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So squirting runs in the family.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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