Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
