Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
