I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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