You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
