I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
