it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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