jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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