also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
