White coat. Heels.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
