there's paper in my vomit.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
