what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
