So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
