that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize