I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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