Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
