she kept yelling 'call me bella'
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
