Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
