"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
