I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
