Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
