So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize