check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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