Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize