she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize