Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
