when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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